Toby Young restaurant critic

JUST SEEN A SMARMY TOBY YOUNG, (YOU KNOW HIM REGRETTABLY, HE'S THE SMUG
'RESTAURANT CRITIC' SITS ON HIS SMARTARSE MOANING AND CRAMMING HIGH QUALITY FOOD INTO HIS OVERFED FACE)
HE'S ON A REPEAT COME DINE WITH ME THIS AFTERNOON, AND THE GRASPING OPPORTUNISTIC LOUT MANAGED TO GET HIS FAME HUNGRY BUT NOTHING TO OFFER WIFE ON TELLY TOO, SAYING DISINGENUOUSLY ''OOOH NOOO.. I CAN'T COOK AND I MUST ASK MY FAME HUNGRY WIFE TO HELP ME PUT SOME BEEF IN THE OVEN..SIMPER....SIMPER.''
WHAT A CREEP....I HEARD HIM ON A DISCUSSION PROGRAMME ON RADIO 4 ONCE BEMOANING THE FACT THAT THE DEMOGRAPHY OF THE LEAFY ROAD WHERE HE LIVES HAD CHANGED....HE PROVIDED THE FOLLOWING QUOTE, WHICH IS RIGHT UP THERE WITH ''... DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM???''
HE SAID THE CRAPPIEST OF CRAP THINGS IN ORDER TO DEMONSTRATE HIS GARGANTUAN SELF INFLATION...
HE SAID IN A DISDAINFUL WHINE: ...
''YES AND THESE PEOPLE(I THINK HE MAY HAVE THEN WRINKLED HIS NOSE AT THIS POINT) HAVE  ACTUALLY MOVED INTO MY STREET, I WAS SPEAKING TO A PLUMBER THE OTHER DAY ...
AND HE EARNS MORE THAN ME!!!!!!!''
TOBY... COULD THAT BE BECAUSE HE IS WHAT YOU ARE NOT, THAT IS : 1)SKILLED AND 2)HARD WORKING ???????? UNLIKE YOU....YOU FREELOADING CONCEITED VERBOSE SMARTARSED SELF SATISFIED GREEDY LITTLE SHIT....WE NEED A NEW EXPRESSION FOR ''UBER PARASITE!!!''