Thursday 2/2/12
CORPORATE FOOTBALL FEVER
There is a lack of authenticity in western hemisphere life as we know it isn’t there?
This occurred to me when my sons and their dad began hurling expletives
at the inanimate object which is our television the other day when viewing an
‘important’ match …’you silly sod!!!’….’you idiot’.’useless!!!’
‘oh my God what are you doing?!!!’ were some of the more respectable high pitched
narrative comments uttered by the boys in frustration at the failure of their team to win .The fact that my children ‘support’ Manchester United ‘ and have never been to Manchester is, I realise, immaterial….afterall the multi billion corporation that claims to be Manchester United football team has assembled a team of players that are actually more demographically representative of exotic foreign lands than of the stodgy northern city in question….and I am also aware that an absence of tribal
conflict means testosterone has to go somewhere…but why do morons like us fall for mass marketing of corporate football…?? nobody existing on an average wage in Manchester has a season ticket!! And what about the advertising nonsense !! no wonder we’re all nearly bankrupt!!…new kit/strips that costs a fortune every time someone farts …over priced football boots endorsed by engorged over paid ‘celebs’ … and the irony of then advertising the brands (adidas, nike, umbro..) like mindless sandwich boards….doing Nikes advertising for free!!!
And then there is the psychological and physical damage we willingly suffer …wasted evenings and weekends sacrificed on the altar of FIFA (the couch) slack jawed and liverish from drinking gallons of lager…disconnected from real friendship and banter holed up in our centrally heated houses….are we not all better off arising from the couch and attending a real game of football in fresh air and in our own area for a fraction of the current rip off price of major league footie, surely its better than
being robbed by the likes of Abromovitch and all the other greedy shits....just a thought…
Friday 3/2/12
SYCOPHANTIC COLUMNISTS
I wonder what pointless guff Amanda Platell of The Daily Mail will fill her column with tomorrow? Last Saturday was greasily embarrassing.. she used up her undeserved privelage of a national column to sustain her readers with obsequious drivel about how Amanda Thingy in THE X-FACTOR (poor defenceless mirror loving Amanda Holden) is ’under pressure’ to dress in vertiginous heels and a skin tight short dress despite being heavily pregnant and middle aged….apparently Amanda is not being ‘cherished’ as a ‘star’ like her should be…apparently she’s ‘under pressure’ to dress like a sad whore If she wants to keep her X-FACTOR gravy train ‘job’…….what a smack in the face for ordinary hard working women…tens of thousands of whom suffer the agony of serial miscarriage and when pregnant again( (…no indulgencies for them)…they still must go to work to feed and water their families and pay unrelenting bills…this, dear Platell.. is our world, the world of your daft stupid lowly readers and your salary payers…Amanda Holden doesn’t have to be on show with her expensive rubberised lips on the dross that calls itself the X-FACTOR, …unqualified ’judges’ like her are two hundred thousand a penny in any event…and she doesn’t need the grossly over rated and grossly over paid job as much as my neighbour who is pregnant and stacks shelves at Tesco every night needs her job…may I suggest that if Amanda Platell stops butt licking dodgy ’celebs’ and starts to write about relevant issues and realities with wit and shrewd observation (not sure she can manage that) beginning, rather belatedly, to cherish her subscibers rather than salivating over silly vain women like Holden, then perhaps the content of her column might be worth the effort of reading let alone paying for!!
Tuesday 7/2/12
DESPERATELY DATED WEBSITES
I read an autobiographical account of a city lady (not a street walker a ‘professional’
Lawyer I think she touted herself as)…she was complaining that she had been ripped
off by an executive dating agency…here’s a summary:
Having devoted her best looking and presumably fertile years to her chosen vocation, that of Insurance and law….at the advanced age of 44 it suddenly occurred to her that
life was happening aound her but not to her…so consumed had she been with
the dry as dust business of indemnity she had forgotten to invest in a
relationship….and now middle aged greying and jowlish she decided she was fully entitled to a handsome rich successful clever charismatic hunk of man meat…
she thought about her options…dashing suited dynamos that she frequently
came across looked right through her to younger gigglier and sillier women,
these men were himbos… were would she find an adoring prince charming
with a great bank balance and full head of hair? Then the slick and smarmy
add…obviously promising more than it could deliver…beckoned to her from the latter pages of The Times supplement…
it whispered seductively…’’we can find your ultimate soul mate….we can banish
your lonliness with a Sex God who is loving and stylish and above all financially stable…..give us your money you daft old baggage…give us your money….’’ The promise of romance and excitement proved impossible to resist…
and she eagerly paid the joining fee of £700 (seven hundred pounds!!)
and the monthly subscription of £70 (seventy pounds…seventy pounds!!!....every month!!!) Having received payment very well in advance the agency ‘executive match, specialising in dates for special people ’( who in the end were exposed as suffering from a deficiency in solvent let alone rich single men on their books) …set up this lady with ‘Terry’. The lady waited hopefully outside the Tube station…scanning faces in the emerging crowd…
fingering her lapel flower (Terry was instructed to search for a lady sporting
a rose on her jacket) and experienced a mounting horror as Terry gingerly approached
…Terry she explained in the same harrowing narrative used by a victim of serious abuse…didn’t carry a brief case….Terry had a rucksack…and he wasn’t wearing
a long and dashing coat over a saville row suit, he was done up in a purple
anorak, complimented by acrylic slacks and slip on hush puppies….a slight variation on the ideal male she had ordered six weeks earlier….she really
did expect to see an edition of James Bond sauntering sexily towards her….talk about deluded!!!! Turned out that Terry was approached by a clipboarded bod in the street
and signed up there and then…he hadn’t even paid a fee ….adding painful detail
to wrecked dreams he explained to his high powered date that he rented part of a mobile home and couldn’t afford to run a car….
These days she can generally be found at her place of employment… beavering away for a good salary under some lovely strip lights sweating over insurance policy,
at weekends she rambles with some lesbian friends and has given up on the
James Bond thing…she’s due to go in next week to have her varicose veins done..
A woman from the rambling club will pop in and ministrate …for a small fee…and the moral of the story is:
‘’young women should not do themselves out of having a family and then expect
to catch up by way of mail order!!!!’’…
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