what a croc

If one more individual exclaims in airyfairiness 'oh yes the children re soooooo much happier since the
divorce ha ha ha...!' then I may ....I just might....respond with a much rehearsed
'..that is such a crock!...'even if my hubbie starts to groan and pluck my sleeve in a bid to leave...
The truth would save thousands in psychiatric fees criminal damage and general acting out of unexpressed agony... people dont need a shrink to talk about heartaches,  what is a shrink for? To find the truth, well hold up a mirror and shout 'there you are, you've found yourself now sort out the consequences !!!'
I speak as someone who has left a trail of emotional wreckage, you won't find anybody selfisher than me...
Oh God, i am bracing myself to see beloved parents and not so beloved siblings..and all that jazz to welcome 2012...Now I am 42 I MUST keep my gob shut tonight unless it be to agree and nod and smile and perhaps issue the odd platitude...and I must avoid Gin....and all other spirits....can't face another night in the cells!!

The male ego

Why does nature dictate that men (not their poor fault) must be seen to be in charge, and why must women have to be seen to humour them with a '...oh yes dear...you're so right dear...your so utterley marvellous
dear...and yes of course I still fancy you, even in your current ensemble of socks pants and slippers...
fetchingly sexy...' And  the looks I get for grntly suggesting that perhaps the 'solution' of a fist fight between father and son may not necessarily be the way forward in order to achieve mutual respect and family unity (especially now that son in question has almost initiated such an altercation with his bionic mouth...another developing ego
God help me...)This role of  peacemaker is wearing me down...empty nest syndrome is a positively desirable condition  at times.But I did laugh this morning when I came across a couple of cheeky (bad taste)
christmas cards sent to my hubbie from the football dads, one featured a middle aged 1950's housewife looking up from her knitting and exclaiming 'yes Peter, very good, and you've been very creative with the tinsel...
now put your trousers back on!!' I won't mention the other, it's too rude...
Popping up to Brum tomorrow to visit mum dad 2 sisters (one went schizo after to many drugs, has never had a job, and just sits aroung the house smiling to herself, growing even fatter and smoking) and my dad's 10 ferral
cats (it was two a year ago, good breeders are cats, thank goodness the cat protection league stepped in to
tie their tubes up) we're taking the chocolate lab for a laugh...2012...lets hope it's a good one, without any tears,
although there are several schools of thought that predict a turbulent and spiritually interesting year!!.
Hope we all enjoy new years eve...until tomorrow's post xxxx

Teenages and their 'serious relationships'

My handsome son is 15 and should be bursting with anxiety under exam pressure,should be applying 'Clearasil' manically,should be shuffling pathetically and blushing shades of puce around young females,should be experimenting with that aftershave favoured by teenagers...what's it called? that's it! 'Desperation'!!
Should be living like that song '...I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby...'  all that painful evolutionary pain captured in that dirtbag song title, expressing  the pubescent nonsense of feeling like some odd oxygen thief. Not my guy.... this guy is  supremely confident, reserving the daily right to monopolise the bathroom implementing his complex beauty routines, flexing his pecs and whatnot, chatting to whoever through cyber space, but most disconcerting of all: he is (his words) 'in a serious relationship wiv Laura'...whenever I've seen the gruesome twosome she's
laughing at his terrible jokes like some mental patient.they shreik a lot too...and he chases her ,well he did before
I banned them from being together in the house...ok I'm a harridan I banned her from the house..but in the interests of preventative contraception, you know the one reader...it's called 'The Abstinance Method'... I'm not one of those libs who say 'Oh yes dear do it safefly under my roof in comfort while I pay the bills'
I'm more like 'Don't do it but if you really cannot control yourself and if you really don't respect yourself then do it in the rain in stinging nettles!!!'
Nevertheless it's quite an intense affair, as I discovered when questionning him the other day after
he revealed that he had bought her a 'Hollisters' top for xmas....I challenged the financial commitment
etc of such an expensive gift (at that age and for many years after the proverbial pot to pee in was a mere dream for moi) and he shot back with 'She's worth two weeks of my paper rlound money...she means a lot to me...
I luv 'er...you don't throw a relationship away after 8 months...'followed by the poignant and pathetic...'She
makes me appy!!!!''

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if he'd feel quite as enamoured if he had bills to pay!!!!
But I'm bitter dear valued reader...I spent the eighties searching for a boyfriend..and failing...
pity he has the equivalent of some Miss Havisham freak like character for a mother...

dumbed down DJs

I know when my son gets an A grade it's really a C, and I know it's no good staring at the box every night slack jawed and drunk, absorbing nonsense interspersed with hypnotic adverts...but this morning fiddling with the car radio things hit a new low...the sheer banality of drivel...the dull mechanical unoriginality...
the ironic 'no repeat guarantee' repeated again and again and again, in that booming pseudo excited
voice that radio stations employ to hammer and fry our brains ,and the tired proclamations every 2nd nano second that 'you're being subjected to such and such radio'  in the same intrusive hypa tone, and then after an
interminable series of adds the invitation to participate in a mindless premium rate phone competition
presenting the intellectually challenging question 'what colour is a tomato?' or suchlike...and then some poor gormlss specimen drivels on air about what year the 'time testicle' or 'time funnel' programme is covering...and as if this condescending inane junk is not insulting enough, the listener is sunjected to
brain dead space filling yap yap from the uninspiring DJ...and amongst that recurrent junk perhaps one good song is played, just not worth the agony of the tosh that is delivered either side!!
I would opt for radio 4, but even that revered station seems to look down on the audience with
something approaching contempt...insisting on more amd more 'current affair' stuff and boring
so called news and as usual marketing shamelessly their received wisdom,but worst of all, radio 4 is
using any opportunity to play music when it is supposed to be a SPEECH radio, what the hell happened to  'Play for today'? and how on earth do those dreadful short stories ever win a spot?clearly it is
changing by stealth to something akin to all the others.
So I might adopt the adage that silence is golden for the next few days, maybe meditate a bit and avoid
the detritus and pointless noise (get enough of the latter from my teenage sons thanks very much)xxx

soap

Boxing day: Just inadvertantley caught the last few scenes of Eastenders... considering life is
finite that's 10 minutes I'll never get back!!I do think the writers are worthy of an award
for same old same old same old, faithful dedicated application of the axiom
(chanted at training sessions) 'when infidelities and murders don't fill up allotted time, then
 stage a fatal fire!!!!' tried and tested formula also favoured by Corrie and Emmerdale
(odd variation same crap, could be a plane or train crash whatever...all sustitution
for a decent story and decent characters with realistic problems and relationsips...)
and how come Dierdre Barlow is still alive?surely she must be 150 by now!!!
Oh for the days of Samir her Morrocan waiter...when she announced 'we're lovers'
I thought she was fabulous, but I haven't seen Corrie since the only decent character
Charlie (Bill Ward) was killed off, and Eastbenders was never the same after Grant
(real screen presence unlike that uninteresting group of blandness tonight) left
to do his doumentaries (hero) Please bring back play for today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas time....

Nothing to see here...move along folks....show never even started!
No arguments , plenty of peace, equanimty and humour,
and the dear old Queen's speech. That woman is phenomenal:
life in a goldfish bowl...slagged off constantly by people not fit to lick her shoes,
and on the throne 60 years in 2012!!  I can't do one single long haul flight without
developing a shitty attitude, this woman is what? 86? she does it routinely.
I'm certain there's a place in heaven for Elizabeth II.

I miss my brother and and wish we could be togeter like when children we talked for hours
and laughed real belly laughs, but his heart is out of bounds now, cold eyes and words issued through the
veil of  cannabis abuse induced psychosis, and the unconquerable devotion of familial live is not enough...am so jealous of great adult relations between brothers and sisters...want to diminish their enviable bonds by nasty sarcasm....not good is it? Must sign off been a good day, my sons are healthy happy and spoiled...nothing wrong with spoiling them, it's other things that spoil/ruin people....too much gin...need 40 winks xxx

kim yong II

What was that balderdash on radio 4 yesteday? What utter waffle by a guest on the weekly edition of 'last word'...describing the diffident and charismatic Kim Yong II !!!!!!!!!!!
Some silly bint spouting gibberish about the recently deceased dictator..
'charming' and 'charismatic' with his insecurities and his self deprecation and his
high heels, poor taste as under his reign children were so hungry they would fight
over corn bits in a cowpat,and under his reign if one so much as mildly
stated the meagre food rations were not enough, one's entire family could end up in a concentration camp for life, as during his reign hospitals had and still have no running water or medicine, were blindness
is epidemis for the lack of a simple cataract operation,and under his reign which will continue with his son, a little boy is 10kg lighter and considerably shorter than his counterpart in neighbouring countries...
what a nightmare to exist in North Korea unless of course you are part of the ruling elit...
sort out your content radio 4!!!!

RHIANNA SLEAZY SINGER/ PORN STAR

In the interests of avoiding the need  to call in Kim and Aggie, I burst, unannounced, into my 15 yr old
son's room to begin fumigation and was greeted by the grating tones of that overated and  immodest
young woman 'Rihanna', droning on in her  chewing a brick monotone that 'stick and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me...'Making money from sexualising children eh?....nice work darling!! Although I only recall her as that pretend lady GaGa who looks like RONALD MCDONALD in that laughable red WIG... I have heard some of her 'art' from time to time, the latest offering is an agonised strangulated  desperate 'song' obsessing over the lovely issue of sexual infidelity...Isn't it fantastic that babies as young as 5 or 6 are listening to and parrotting sleazy degrading so called lyrics that contaminate innocence when the listeners don't know that sex is a
sacred life force, but know that degradation of the phenomenon is everywhere. Don't tell me that
this infection of what should be pure childhood doesn't lead to sexual activity far too young
and the nightmare of STD's and teenage pregnancies with endless difficulties forever.
Still, on the bright side as long as 'Superstar' Rihanna and the shameful corporates that back her
make enough bucks, who cares about the putrefication of virtue? who cares that this is soft peadophilia and can only worsen?
So I have, like a right old baggage, banned sexualised lyrics and groin thrusting 'music' videos
in my home, and anyway these things aren't even remotely entertaining, just moronic and
boring and formulaic , and that seem to exercise some strange trance like power over the viewer and reduce us all to nothing more than pieces of cheap meat.Every girl and every boy is more than their body and deserves the chance to grow up free of molestation, and, when the time is right, enjoy the thrill of the chase (isn't it ironic that Madonna's daughter is so protected as an example?) and
appreciate the joy of sex....but not at 12 for God's sake!! Some kids, who these 'songs'
target are old at 20, disappointed and disillusioned and past it....how unutterably depressing..
now I must sign off...where on earth DID I put that 'Sound of Music'DVD??????????????  XX

Cannabis:Key To The Locked Ward

How does one scream on a blog?? AAAArrrrrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I work with barristers and lawyers daily, yesterday while waiting in court for the Judge, Miss ----- Q.C. a criminal law barrister at the top of her professional tree, who I hitherto regarded as a person worthy of my respect, gaily and casually announced in general chit-chat with her opponent another high calibre(ish) barrister, that in her erudite opinion ,and I quote "all prison inmates should be given as much cannabis as they can consume...as it would calm them down!"
The response to this chillingly ignorant declaration was all round sniggering and nodding from other apparentley learned persons (it was a big case, lots of barristers,big drain on public purse)who.working in the criminal justice system , I assumed until that moment would have known (as many disadvantaged children and adults do to their eternal cost) that taking cannabis, especially in a person
who lacks accomplishment or recommendation (ie most of this woman's clients)has shattering, tidal wave proportion consequences for mental health upon the weakest and poorest in society.
Miss -----QC is unaware of the paranoia, resultant unpredictable violence, pysychosis, schizophrenia,and poverty of spirit, finance, and hope that ingestion of cannabis leads to for the taker and all to do with them.
This is written from experience, may I introduce exhibit 'A' once my quite nice brother, who began smoking cannabis at the age of 20.I challenge Miss -----Q.C. (and have done so in person) to move in with him for a mere 28 days, perhaps she will continue to deem cannabis less than harmful once she has enjoyed the behavioural  consequences of his cannabis use,i'm sure the following traits don't occur in any of the members of her prosperous, well educated household:
1) lack of personal hygiene or ability to notice this
2)squalid living condition and inability to notice this
3)unpleasant, frightening unpredictably violent and threatening demeanour and an inability to
recognise the lack of reason in this behaviour
4) inability to conduct a normal conversation, at his very best his mantra may as well be 'ME ME ME ME,ME ME ME ME!!!!'

5)inability to manage a household or shop and cook the simplest meal...

6) desire for a meaningful friendship or relationship is rendered an impossible dream

7) inability to care for or love in any real way his traumatised and permanently damaged son...

not I think a person with whom Miss -----QC would wish to spend any of her quality

time unless she is being publically remunerated and a thick perspex safety screen divides them!!

Perhaps after 28 days Miss -----Q.C. would realise that cannabis does not 'calm down' its users, and

having realised,although her life would not be irrevocably bighted by this drug like so many inncent children's has been...at least she would deign from her leafy street to acknowledge the evil my brother's screaming violence has wreaked upon society, and then multply that pain and fear throughout the council estates and ordinary places the length and breadth of Great Britain....

Miss -----Q.C. when you advocate cannabis for the great unwashed, I wish upon your offspring the same cruel agony inflicted upon my nephew, who exists in perpetual terror of his father, my brother and his vile furniture breaking rantings...I urge you and your aquaintances to see that a few spliffs smoked at university while you were trying to appear bohemian is different in its knock effect to administering this filthy mind altering poison to empty soles with no inner resourses who will smoke it 24/7...

and then I hope you will humbly apologise...

xmas pressure

Oh Good... Christmas!!

Can't wait for the annual orgy of uber consumption, the joy of hackneyed conversations, and the same old, same old script required to deal with celebration of New Year...pass me a Mogodon on your way out will you? I'm particularly fond of the trite, stale ditties omnipresent everywhere: supermarkets, tv, radio, cafes, shopping centres...there is literally no escape from Shaky Stevens, Paul McFartney, that band...'Sludge'...And there's the imterminable shop shop shop shop shopping...take my family for example....teenagers are grossly offensive, and no quantity of logoed tat is sufficient to sate their disgusting insecurity, but what excuse do the others have?They're just as demanding...

A distant relative collects £5 fom each of her brood and posts to a worthy cause...sweet joy and job

accomplished!! I suggested this as an alternative to the pain, the suggestion lingered

sulphourously smelly in the air...unacknowledged. Mind you this lady is a ruthless example, upon being confronted by yet another mound of unwashed crockery and dirthy undepants, she collected the major effects of each of her offspring, packed the items in spotted hankerchiefs, and left them on the table with written notification of 28 days to vacate the family home. Moving on...the aquisition and prep of food and the people carrier borrowed just for the alcohol shop ...unsurprisingly given the gluttony my beloveds and I suffer various maladies exclusive to these days...(apart from mental disorders...that is a future blogsworth) mostly these illnesses fall into the 'sticky blood' family, giveaway signs to be noted are beer bellies (I have 3) and other image compromising conditions such as large bottoms, pendulous bingo wings, and purpley veined noses, but the invisible stuff is the worst: lethally high levels of triglycerates and cholesteol and a marked shortness of breath when negotiating the kitchen, and yet, although we think we want to live forever, we deliberately stuff our morbidly fat faces with tens of thousands too many calories (wrecking our livers which are probably drowning in wine beer and spirits) just to make it to the other side of the glumness that is 'indoors with relatives'.Cigarettes are smoked just to leave the house, (I'm on 30 a day during confinement season, normally a pack of 10 lasts a week.) all enjoyed without giving a penny to charity (I don't, couldn't beleive it when I found out the other day that most 'charities' are industries that have the cheek to emply highly salaried execs)Still, getting things into perspective...as long as I can avoid the sustained misery of 'Eastenders'then life should remain tolerable....

BRAND MADNESS

Trailing mindlessly behind my teenage son, I ended up trying to escape from renound fashion store 'xxxxxxxxx'Looking incongruously like a beach house from outside (wierd within the synthetic confines of a plastic shopping mall) inside felt like a Hungry Horse eaterie in a power cut, all the tables adorned with dim retro lamps and retentively neat piles of unremarkable sweaters.
Peering myopically, it proved impossible to locate the essential (for me at any rate) data of price, not due to the gloom, but due horrifically to the sneaky store policy of not exhibiting this information.One is supposed
to be too cool amd too prosperous to consider such an enquiry relevant.!
From the stories I've head, and the situations I have witnessed in daily life during this recession, I can only guess that it is the store's (successfully accomplished) objective is to reap rewards at a point prior to it's lemming like customers leaping into an abyss of financial ruin, consoling themselves as they plummet  they are at least wearing a jumper advertising 'xxxxxxxxx'.
Let's face the fact that there is only 1 reason to shop at xxxxxxxxx, and that reason is : To be seen doing so
and, after being seen doing so, to then assume the role of a common sandwich board in order to publicise
said corporation.(come on people...you would never consider being employed as as a paid advertising sandwich board for a paltry £6 an hour, so why then pay an exorbitant price for said sandwich board and then work for free??)
But heh, something has been gained from my harrowing experience...I'm pretty sure that a snooty
neighbour of mine saw me in aforementioned establishment, and now it follows that he,driver of leased
BMW, husband of surgically enhance wife and addict of local solarium, now realises that I too am SOMEONE!! Perhaps he will now favour me with the "Hello Dahrrling" air kiss each cheek, as with the glamourously brain dead mums at the school gate, all of whom advertise that place for free!!
just one other point, my xxxxxxxxx top is without style merit, I've seen more attractive garments
worn by prison inmates when slopping out.To conclude, the company is not to blame
for innovative marketing strategy, but nobody can deny it's Emperor is  butt naked!! you have to laugh!!
XXXXXX

Rotten Press

What a joke the so called press are today...is headline news really some nonentity eating bum fluff
in that moronic 'celebrity' programme?...is headline news really Cameron devoted wife of the media
making a speech on how to crochet a doyley, or spin a yarn of lies?...
Has the 'news' industry, busy as it has been with celebrity gossip and whatnot, actually failed to notice
that war has been been declared on Iran...this despite the war hungry element of the west knowing damn well that 1)Iran does not have proper nuclear capability and 2)In any event Iran is not suicidal!!!........
wipe Israel off the map? No!!.....wiping Israel off the map would surely necessitate  a committment from Iran to wish for death, does the west imagine that Iran nurses an ambition to invite its own destruction? So what is really going on? The press were never innocent, but at least they used to enjoy some level of credibility, now they are corporate butt lickers who when one is searching for the truth must be disregarded.If however one is looking for pictures of silicon breasts, or perhaps has a yen for learning of the latest sexual exploits of over rated sports/film 'personalities' amid oceans of tedious advertisements,then the press offes a consummate service!!!

Cameron and Obama should realise that when they are dead they
won't  be immortalised as great statesmen, they will  be remembered for the legacy of hell and pain they are so eager to bequeath, leaving the world a worse place for their children and ours.

Incidentally that other distraction the press have employed , the 'global warming' phenomenon ....do you remember the automaton spokes people with their scripts, banging on and on about the ozone layer? whatever happened to 'The ozone layer'?
I suppose like all pulp fiction it went out of fashion!! 

la la land (and everything is made of marshmallows!)

You find out a relative is dying and you say "'i'm so sorry..."' and they reply,as my heartbroken dad did over his brother's lung cancer, "it's part of life..."and then nothing else meaningful is uttered. All the people I (and you probably) have encountered, be they tediously self obsessed and incapable of listening, or bright gifted and wonderful company,or psychotic hateful individuals, or beautifully natured and seemingly perfect...  definately have two things in common.. firstly, they will one day die...and the second... they will never talk about death in any real way...ie: where you may go after your body is dispensed with (how can we just disappear...cease to exist?... and how can you attach any credence to religion just because the qualifying rules have been repeated ver batim through the ages?) ..even, irony of ironies, church goers and men of God don't talk sincerely about it!I have never met a person in this transitory life experience who is at all willing to concentrate, even for a negligable moment on the subject of our inevitable physical death and possible spiritual adventure thereafter.We are not permitted to talk about that certain part of our human journey, surely this is horrendously superficial...of course we allow discourse upon diagnosis, treatment and care plans, blood tests,chemotherapy, the minutiae of funeral requirements and scattering of our residual carbon molecules,but never a reference to or a hint of debate or mention  (save for the platitudinous cliches regarding resting in peace) of what may happen once the body has ceased to function!!
Could this omission particularly on the part of  official advocates for eternal life (of whichever established religion) really equate to a tacit agreement that we are merely our body and nothing more? If so, how did that happen? Have brand names and other temporary trinkets been placed on a pedestal above the need to find out what the point of us is?

Robots

Am I alone in wondering why it seems corporations have decided simply not to ask customers their
feelings on automatons replacing human beings to deal with the payment section of a transaction?
My research reports conclusively that '30 out of 30 customers prefer to pay through a real live human being
when shopping, rather than the increasingly compulsory option of an unhearted machine'
so then...the elite ( or someone/thing/political party we know not!) having decided without asking us the
'represented' people to swell this population with cheap, keen, intelligent labour from less prosperous
Europe, rendering millions of our ill educated youth unemployed and desperate, theyhave now decided to compound this cancerous sadness with the introduction of robots to replace persons!!...perfect!!!
what will our illiterate (and literate) jobless population do now...that is those who are actually registered unemployed...no, not the part-timers barely scraping by, not the students who are in their millions anyway,
oh no i'm talking about the people avtually registered and not statistically massaged away... the answer: let them fester!! And what of the lonely, the icelated, the elderly, whose sole connection with humanity on any given day is a chat with the human cashier...who cares? simply banish them to the horror of seperation, the agony of solitary confinement...all in glorious honour of profit for the corporations, the investors, and the so called democratic government they control!!

Marriage; A Piece Of Paper?

Or so I assumed before discovering that without that 'piece of paper' my partner's pension built up over forty years would be greedily sucked up by the so called treasury (no doubt to be awarded to the banking fraternity, adding to banksters' security...and  to think for forty years i've been dealing with his smelly socks and cleaning up after him and our errant children,picking up dog poo from a succession of labradors,entertaining and educating tham all, worrying constantly about everything from A to Z, general enslavement really!!...Bankers..euphemism for scum...I wouldn't mind if it was Oxfam!!!) That 'piece of paper' also legitimises my children, placing them where they should be in terms of inheritance rights....without it they remain second class citizens and illegitimate.........at the bottom of any pecking order.....in 2011!!
That 'piece of paper' also removes the stigma inflicted by those that are unable to resist looking down their nose at you..."well he never married her, I wonder what was wrong with her?" applicable to a large range of bigot, from aged relatives, to teachers, to work colleagues, to his brain dead aquaintances who only ever meet him at the local watering hole!!The lack of 'that piece of paper' weighs heavily upon a child of the
family, who without doubt, maybe subconsciously, but very often not, accepts tacitly that their parents
simply cannot be bothered to marry, to create a safe unit, with the same surname, a special haven for the child and siblings, and must surely affect the already delicate psyche of said kiddy.
In conclusion that 'piece of paper' reflects a public declaration of love, and a promise to protect and endure
in good times and bad, and that is why I have fixed a date...I do love him...just wish me luck in telling him!!!