BIG HEAD LORD SUGAR REVIEW OF THE APPRENTICE

OH NO NOT ALAN SUGAR AGAIN

SERIES NUMBER GOD KNOWS WHAT OF THE APPRENTICE

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

28/3/12

The Alan Sugar ego trip known as The Apprentice is back very soon after the last one. Is it just me or is anyone else getting a bit sick of seeing his eminence alan repeating himself in manner of duracell loaded bore bumming on about how brilliant his business acumen is, how fabulous his instinct, how much cleverer he is than every one else…how he’s always surrounded by over educated fools..how in 1922 against a backdrop of hovis music, a diet of snot sandwiches and wearing size 12 tap dancing shoes he invented capitalism.. .habitually accusing people of underestimating him…talking himself up as God’s deputy for innovation..while setting the same crappy tasks as last year and the year before that…and the hilariously reverent and ridiculous“morning lord sugar…3 bags full sir alan… how high exactly your gitship?” intoned by 16 disgusting little creeps ready and willing to lick between  his crusty old toes in exchange for 2 minutes on the telly. And his two sidekicks! How toe curling are they? We need a new word for obsequious!!

And I’m sick that the ‘prize’ of becoming an apprentice has not been exposed as the disingenuous codswallop it plainly is. Why are the previous winners
(there must be about 3 thousand of them aren’t we on the 2 millionth series..feels like it!! ) not telling the truth? Because the cold blooded creature wearing alan’s body would sue them to penury…they can’t be honest and admit the prize is in fact a big piece of fiction, because alans legal dept specialise in the issue of violent legal threats to protect his reputation, it doesn’t assist matters that none of the winners possess the necessary appendages to challenges alan…to remedy their lack of courage I’ve suggested they join the spine donors’waiting list, that is apart from the radiant Stella….who has identified alan for what he is…a bully and a shameless showoff who loves to be surrounded by fawning obsequious shits just like this years typical crop of wannabe candidates. I hope she sues the **** out of the old bugger…because no one is entitled to be quite that full to overflowing of himself.

COUPLES IN LURVE XX

COUPLES IN LURVE

26/3/12

We search all our lives for a kindred spirit that sees the divine within us. It is the sweetest most alive of experiences to be desired, showered with adoring

gazes… ….to be demanded and required by another to belong to them alone

(check out that smouldering look of longing on Darcy’s face in Pride and Prejudice…knee buckling or what?)…enticing ..irresistable…but there should be classes for teenagers that make it clear all this waiting for ‘the one’ is a giant con

and that  being romantically adored in such a mind blowing ego boosting way is as unreal as plastic leather …we should recycle the old adage…if it seems too good to be true….then sorry dear…. it is..

Schools and colleges should issue a national warning: Emergency: beware all dozy victims in waiting…Concentrated romance is addictive beyond any class A drug…  sustained love bombing complete with poems and gifts…tender and lingering embraces and looks of love…makes the subject fantasise they are the very centre of the universe…if you hear yourself saying ‘He or she adores me…they couldn’t live without me…I’m so special to them… blah blah blah’ please report to the nearest

Police station to seek protection!’

This love bombing is misleading and dangerous…it’s what predators do…these  pysychos hide their anger and bile behind rose petals and declarations of passion …meanwhile the negative energy they carry as baggage from childhood targets a girl or boyfriend who at the first opportunity without reason or excuse (after a suitable period of deconstruction) stops being a soul mate and becomes the prey.

How ironic that such mystical infatuation morphs into the degradation of domestic violence and abuse and turns the resultant angelic little children of these unions

Into the same sort of monster as their parent. History continues to repeat itself.

Come on Cameron !! forget sex education…(although jolly well done as it continues increase the teenage pregnancy rate…) lets try and tell kids something useful for a change!!

parent bores

PARENTS ;SELF SATISFIED BORES

13/3/12

I  THOUGHT IT WAS JUST SOME DREADFUL WOMEN WHO WERE A PAIN IN THE PROVERBIAL WITTERING ON ABOUT THEIR OFFSPRING, WRINGING SALTY TEARS OF BOREDOM FROM ANY POOR UNFORTUNATE AVAILABLE. I REFER TO THESE

TEDIOUS  PERSONS AS S.O.B.S. (SELF OBSESSED BIMBOS) AND I AVOID THEM LIKE I WOULD DOG POO OR  BANKRUPCY.LIFE IS JUST TOO FINITE TO SIT THROUGH INTERMINABLE DESCRIPTIONS OF RUBBISH LIKE GEOGINA’S UNIVERSITY BALL GOWN AND EVERY MINUTE DETAIL THEREFOF ….BUT LATELY I’VE BEEN AMBUSHED AND HELD HOSTAGE BY A COUPLE OF MIDDLE AGED BLOKES (INTELLIGENT PROFESSIONALS OR SO I THOUGHT PREVIOUSLY) BLETHERING ON ABOUT THEIR RESPECTIVE KIDS AND HOW UTTERLY WONDERFUL AND GIFTED

AND FREAKISHLY BEAUTIFUL THEY ALL ARE…AND HORRIFICALLY BOTH GEEZERS PLIED ME WITH ENDLESSLY SIMILAR PHOTOS WHICH THEY CARRY AROUND IN THE PREDATORY HOPE OF SNARING MORE VICTIMS) THEY .REMINDED ME OF RAY WINSTONE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE VIEWERS OF ‘THE WOGAN SHOW’ IN HIS CHEWING A BRICK MONOTONE ‘’YEAH (WHAT’S ER NAME..SHE’S MA BABE YEAH, AND SHE;S BEEUU(GLOTTAL STOP) IIFUWWW’’ SO WHAT? SELF INDULGENT ARROGANT BORES TALK UP THEIR ORDINARY CHILDREN PURELY IN ORDER TO BOOST THEIR OWN INFLATED EGO AND TO RECEIVE PATS ON THE HEAD AND LOTS OF ‘WELL DONE RAYS’ THE THING IS, THEY DON’T REALISE THAT PEOPLE ONLY OFFER UP THESE CONGRATULATORY AND DETACHED SOUNDING‘VERY NICES’ TO SHUT UP THE PERSON ENGAGING IN THIS UNINTERESTING AND POINTLESS DRIVEL.WHEN ITS WOMEN IT’S A TRADITIONAL  DUTY TO BORE EVERYBODY..MOST WOMEN WHO DRONE ON ABOUT THEIR KIDS HAVEN’T GOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY ANYWAY, NEVER READ A BOOK OR HAVE AN  OPINION BEYOND THEIR TINY LITTLE BUBBLE…BUT THE TWO BLOKES WHO RUINED MY PERFECTLY PROMISING FREETIME  AND SHAMELESSLY ABUSED MY POLITE DISPOSITION…WHAT’S THEIR EXCUSE? WHERE ON EARTH IS THEIR SELF RESPECT????

NOW IF I WERE TO TALK ABOUT MY STUNNING TWO SONS I WOULD BE JUSTIFIED IN GOING ON A BIT BECAUSE THEY REALLY ARE SPECIAL…JUST LIKE ME…LET ME GET MY PHOTO ALBUMS,  DON’T GO AWAY!!!

Matt Fraser

Matt Fraser Actor Ambassador and Conqueror of Adversity Extraordinaire….

21/3/12

Saw a lovely documentary last night ‘Are you having a laugh?’

about comedy and the disabled…Matt Fraser famous diplomat,accomplished thespian and victim  of  the 60’s phenomenon known as the thalidomide tragedy battled a tidal wave of devastation just to get through his childhood…

and now he is tough and strong, and tender and empathetic, entertaining and endearing. If he can be so charismatic why can’t everybody? Because like me they fail to acknowledge their fortunate circumstances. I think he must have had 2 things the more miserable among us did and do not...

1) a family who cherished and cherish hm...and 2) a decent education at home at school

and at college...or at least that is what I prefer to believe otherwise I have no excuse for my many personal failings and failures...

MUAMBA AND BOB HOLNESS

Muamba

20/3/12

If I could name one actually talented person in the public

eye who deserves happiness it would be this young man…some people  bear more pain than others…escaping from a war torn land…

enduring the loneliness of literal asylum when as a child he was separated from his beloved family, existing in a strange land, learning a new language and working so very hard to become educated…and then excelling to an impossibly high level at football..becoming against awesome adversity..the ultimate role model for children, especially those lonely boys without fathers….he does not deserve this…but

precisely  because he is rare and beautiful and strong the universe probably has plans for him…God Bless you Muamba…

Blockbusters

The Challenge channel on SKY is repeating Blockbusters ….it certainly was

a simpler time…hosted by the inimitably classy Bob Holness…what

a gentle man…no shrieking or rudeness or embarrassing the young players..

just a true and wholesome and amusing style of presenting…if only the

poseurs who get the presenting jobs now had a fraction of his wit and warmth…no they’re too busy poncing and swanning and loving themselves….

Vernon Cole and all the rest of them are unfit to be in the same room as Bob Holness’s shoe laces…may you rest in peace Bob you legend

too much!!

All this debt everywhere …and what do I have to show for it?

some out of date baubles and enough junk to fill an acre of  landfill…

when I look back at all the useless dust collecting must haves we acquired for our 2 babies I cringe with impotent regret…a green flowery pram that took 20 minutes to

fold up to get in the boot….£500 from Mamas & Papas…OMG £500!!!

The child within would have been as comfy in the pushchair I saw

In ‘Help The Aged’ the other day…perfectly functional and clean…£20!!

And I would have assisted the elderly simultaneously!!

And how damaging and foolish to compound these exorbitant acquisitions with the

inflationary measure of purchase by credit card!!...

...the already ridiculous £500 for the over elaborate pram

cost God alone knows how much more as a result of the old plastic .

And the whole point of this silliness was nothing to do whatsoever with the baby…it was so I could be accepted as a prosperous person worthy of yummy mummy friends, so I could be invited on expensive and utterly boring nights out with said crowd… so that I would ‘fit in’….how pathetic is that? Perhaps I should have put myself on a waiting list for a spine donor instead !!

These days of pay freezes and rising prices I know the ‘economy’ needs people to shop in proper shops on the high street but the harsh truth I have realised is that I personally despite my husband and I earning reasonable wages, simply cannot afford to buy all our stuff conventionally in shops...I did try recently when looking for a work blouse… I popped into Marks and Spencer…and swiftly popped straight back out again ….£40 for a blouse ? I don’t think so, that’s half the weekly shopping budget!!

SUN IS A JOKE

Disgraceful Sun

Based on the uber abomination published on Saturday 25/2/12

I recommend The Sun Newspaper be terminated immediately….

even the seedy celebrity gossip mags display more interesting

content than the absolute joke that was Saturday’s Sun…

I didn’t let myself down to the extent that I paid money

for a copy of said rag on Saturday but while in the newsagents

had a brief look….first 3 pages devoted to Amanda Holden and

her  new infant….FIRST 3 PAGES!!!! God In Heaven…

first 3 pages devoted to the vacuous Holden who chose to return to

the essential work of pseudo judging on The X-Factor a mere 3 weeks

after a traumatic birth.Is it not a sufficient slap in the face for struggling womankind

that columnists like Plattel from the Daily Mail have laboured on greasily

about how wonderful Holden is for abandoning her new born and hurtling back

to the limelight (don’t you dare tell hard pressed mums working in Tesco for barely the minimum wage that Holden ‘’needs the money’’ !!!!) and adding

a hard punch to the slap by salivating that Holden should be ‘’cherished’’

as a ‘star’ by her callous employers  who have apparently pressurised

Holden into this mercenary action…what balderdash…Holden

is just greedy for financial gain and publicity .and now we are confronted through the disgraceful medium of The Sun with a botoxed bottle blonde Holden who at 40 has just subjected her middle aged body to a three week crash diet and would rather posture in the plastic reality of The X-Factor and ponce around in staged shots boring the sun readership into rigamortis than actually do the decent thing and look after her baby like a proper wife and mother would without question. She should be ashamed,

Plattel should be ashamed…and The Sun should be ashamed….